Ever came across a person who was an all-rounder? Some of your parents must have compared you and told you to be like him. We might feel inferiority complex from the people who perform good in any work they were assigned to; how do they do that? And if they can do well, then why aren’t they all successful?
The simple reason is they are good at most of the things is because they are Jack of All trades but unfortunately not able to master any one. They can perform good or above average but talking about mastering that trait, even if they do so they are not going to stick to it and change their field frequently.
I myself being an example of The Jack, I faced issues of getting distracted from new works, ideas or fields. It is not an issue of lack of focus, but the problem of doing everything and not staying in a field. Earlier it was a bad thing because we (Jack of all trades, master of none) were not specialized in any one field and knew too much about too many things, but now being a generalist is better than being a master of one. Most of the famous art and discoveries or inventions are done because of the multidisciplinary learning. Also, sometimes I feel practicing or learning same thing continuously will produce a limited growth of one field while pursuing work in different fields and learning new information will give you a broad growth.
For example
The topics of electricity and magnetism are which are so similar and runs in parallel, one with knowledge of both the topics will have more scope than the one who is focused on either one.
In the history of science, Johannes Kepler struggled to understand how the planets could move around the sun and drew on his knowledge of light and magnetism to try to understand the force that moved the planets.
Many times I get stuck when someone asks me about my hobby, I really don’t know what to answer because I do a lot of stuff and which is pretty good, if I tell you about myself, I studied for Medicine in my high school along with Mathematics and I was pretty good at it and now I am doing engineering along with writing plus I am pretty athletic too (not showing of though) and many other things too and it is not bad I have the advantage of talking about almost any topic and it feels really good.
So, don’t feel you have to be incredible at any one thing, most of the best results come from those who attempt to understand everything they can.
You are doing good in your life; have parents that understand you and support you completely no matter what; siblings love you and you have the respect that you want; academically doing well, in brief you have everything that you need. Still, have you ever felt that you are lost or that you are not happy? If yes, why is it so?
Why aren’t we happy even after having it all, is it because of social network where we keep reading that 21st generation is a generation of broken hearts? Or is it because we are lost in the race of world and do not have any motive and direction? Well, if I talk about myself, I am a 21 year old, studying engineering in India, currently doing well in my academics have friends and family who supports me all time and I am pretty sure what I am suppose to do with my career, so why do I feel that I am lost or I am missing something?
What I feel the reason behind this is availability of too many choices which can be coined as “Decision Paralysis” or “Analysis Paralysis”. Recently I have been exposed to a decision-making platform where I realized there are too many options for us to choose. Mainly for the age group of 18-25 years, options for career, jobs, and courses which matter a lot to this age group and in turn confuses us. But some people argue that having too many options is better and we feel the same. For instance imagine a situation, if I tell you to go to a website which has 100 varieties of dresses, while another person tells you to visit a website which offers 10000 varieties of the same, undoubtedly you will choose the later one, but the probability of you to buy something from that website will be comparatively lower than the first one due to a paradox called Paradox of choices, which makes you feel more pressure and “possibly leading to choosing the easy option (default) or not making the decision at all. We may also be less satisfied with our choice and unsure we made the right choice”.
I an not going to jump into the psychological reasons behind it, but what I recommend is to throw the basket of pressure away and do what you feel you want to do, no matter what and why, rewarding or not, on course or off course, if you feel you want to know try anything then Just Do It. Life is very short for regretting, so go ahead and run towards your feeling and I promise you that you will never feel lost ever again. We have our family to support, no matter how risky (not life-threatening dangerous) it is, if it is what you want to have then run and get it, and if you didn’t succeed, then get up and go for you next goal. The 20s age group is made for taking risk and getting the most out of yourself.
Do not live a life of slavery by following other’s dreams and working according to their decisions, STOP REACTING TO OTHERS AND START ACTING.
We are living in the 21st century which is full of distractions, and it is hard to focus on anything nowadays. Recently I have come across an article which stated that “The average attention of human being in 2000 was 12 seconds, which is now reduced to 8 seconds”, amazingly the average attention of a goldfish is 9 seconds. So, now human beings now have less attention span than a tiny fish, is it shameful, or not?
We all grew up hearing stories from our parents and grandparents which usually starts with “When I was at your age, we worked so hard, focused on studies….”, but what I feel is, during that time there was no such distractions that we have now which includes; mobiles, laptops, Play stations, Xbox, social networks which in turn includes many sub platforms. It is now a never-ending list. Gone those days when the only distraction was television, now I don’t even consider television as distraction. In the world with all this distraction, focusing is bit hard, but while writing my first blog, I felt a different kind of ME taking over, who did not get distracted from anything, no phone, no internet, no chatting, nothing, I kept writing without any disturbance.
I felt all my energy focused in my fingers and my mind running pleasantly according to me, and then I felt having an interest for anything can really make a difference. No matter who you are and what you are doing, if you are interested in doing that, then you will be focused. If you think you are interested in your work but still lose focus while doing it, then my friend you are not interested in it, you are just doing it for some sake. If you really want to focus on something, I’ll suggest forgetting everything, yes forget everything and imagine that you are alone, that’s the key to my writing and I keep myself interested about anything. Here, I am not implying to isolate yourself and lead your life, what I meant is to give yourself some alone time, and see the difference. I just let everything go and even if my mind is full, being alone somehow keep me focused because there is no one to distract me.
World is not that big anymore, we all are connected and near because of internet, so getting distracted from the crowd (yes it is crowed, even if you are sitting alone) is natural but the feeling of being alone will put you in an introspection and let you realize about your responsibilities and if you feel that what you are doing is important then you will definitely going to be interested in it and will get distracted from all the distractions and gain all the focus you need.
Getting distracted by the books and knowledge, is best kind of distraction.
In this era of equality, women can do everything a man can. Girls are joining defense forces and leading most of the companies, finally we can say girls are getting what they deserve, the respect, the opportunities, they have most of things a girl needs to be independent, and many things yet to come. What I mentioned till now are the requirements of their social lives, but what about their personal lives; their relationships. Yes, it is an important part too, whether it is happening or not. Getting into a relationship, maintaining it, break-ups, all this can be hectic and exhausting. So, what do we do? Well, unlike earlier we have internet and like most of the independent girls who goes through a break-up, which can be traumatic for one, and just another bump for the other one, heads towards their friends or family, who are always there to support them, when they need a shoulder to cry on, also I have seen some introvert girls head towards the internet for the solution, and then, they find blogs. Blogs related to break-ups; signs that you are moving on; signs that he is cheating on you, and the list goes on. They read it and it helps, if not, it surely soothes them a bit.
But, do you know what is common in all those articles?
Most of them are from a girl’s point of view. What happen to the guys? Did the boys lose this race of equality? Wait, but I said equality, then what about them? Does society think, we guys already have everything? Talking about break-ups, we do face hard time going through those, even it is a big deal for us too. In our society, people expect us to be masculine and strong, crying is what girls do, break up is just another issue. But the harsh truth is, we do have feelings, some of us are emotional too, but we must cry alone, even if we tell our friends and family, “It’s not a big deal, man up”, is what we get as an answer.
It’s been a year since my break-up, I used to question myself, am I over her? I went through a lot, had a mental break down, experienced critical depression, took psychiatric help, but initially, when I thought to take help from internet, I found most of the blogs and articles from girl’s perspective, as if, it is easy for guys to move on. May be, few guys can just let it go, have few boozes and meet new girls, and whoosh, they are good as new, but this is not the case with all of us. So, we start searching for blogs to help us and tell us that this will be okay.
I am not saying the solutions to get over someone is different for us boys but putting from a boy’s perspective will help a bit more. Because we have a different thinking and maybe we need different type of approach. Here, I’ll be telling you how I handled all the situation, and I guess I am on the right path after a harsh break up.
Take it as a lesson
Instead of cursing the situation, understand the situation, analyze it, try to find the reason of break up. No matter whose mistake it was and try to think what you get to learn from it. Did you give her less attention? Were you over protective? Were you too boring? Think and understand and improve yourself accordingly.
Grieving is fine
If you feel sad, and want to cry, it is perfectly okay. We as a human have attachments and losing any of them will hurt us and it is natural. If you have someone who understand this and can understand your pain, well and good, and if you are like me, you feel embarrassed to share your thoughts or don’t have anyone to share with, go to the washroom, look at the mirror, talk to yourself, cry it out, this will only make you stronger. You will not feel vulnerable. But let your feelings flow, don’t stop it.
Do not lose hope
The time we need to move on differs person to person, so if you are feeling that she is already over you, but you are not, it is perfectly normal too, just trust the process and keep the hope alive, that you will be fine and better.
Get back to your group
So, you are better now and ready to get back to your group without being sad, that’s a good thing. All those jokes and fun you have missed will be back in your life, if not immediately, then slowly it will.
Focus on yourself
Now that you don’t have to stay up all night and talk to her, you have plenty of time, utilize and do what you always wanted to do. Get yourself a gym membership, get in shape and stronger, and trust me it will help you a lot as it will not only make your body strong but your mind too. Learn new things and for that you need to enroll yourself to get into new groups of people with similar interests and who knows you might end up meeting your perfect match.
Accept, forgive, and forget
Somehow, if you still dwell about your past, and think about her, don’t hate or keep grudges, accept that it was meant to happen and forgive her, yourself for making the mistakes, and forget. This is the important one, if you keep grudges and hate it, you didn’t evolve to a better person, you degraded. So, just let it go and think about future.
You are better
if you feel that you are not going to have a loved one, you are going to be alone, then mate let me tell you, you are here reading how to letgo, which tells me that you are a much better than you were before, you are trying to forget about her, and I can assure you that you are going to be the best version of yourself, just stick to the process.
At the end I will just say, these are the small problems everyone faces in their life (even the girls) so take it as a lesson, learn from it and improve yourself for a greater good.
If you think you have a problem in your life, and you can do something about it, then do it, what is the need to worry; and if you cannot do anything then why are you worrying, the phase will just pass with a lesson to learn.
Neo World 